Embracing the Summer Shift: A Mother's Guide to Intentional Parenting

“She sets her heart upon a field and takes it as her own. She labors there to plant the living vines.”
— Proverbs 31:16 (TPT)

 

A Word from Eileen Noyes:

I used to think I was a quitter. I’d start a new side hustle, get excited… and eventually walk away from it.
But what I’ve come to see is that I wasn’t quitting—I WAS SEARCHING.
I was trying to find MY field… the one GOD created JUST FOR ME to cultivate.
When we understand our divine design—our gifts, our burdens, our lived experiences—we begin to see how God uses ALL OF IT to guide us toward OUR PURPOSE.
That’s the heart behind the newest Proverbs 31 - Lady Bellator Edition devotional.
Sis, you have a field too. And someone needs the fruit that only you can grow.
🌿 Ready to uncover it?
👉🏼 Join the wait list and immediately get Proverbs 31:10 as a preview, as well as each new chapter of Proverbs 31 - Lady Bellator Edition as it releases.

 

Eileen Noyes understands the delicate balance between pursuing God's calling and nurturing the family He's entrusted to her care. As the host of "The Unsidelined Life" podcast and author of multiple books including "Rise Up Lady Bellator," Eileen has built her platform on helping women step boldly into their divine purpose. Yet in this vulnerable solo episode, she reveals the very real struggle of maintaining that balance when life gets overwhelming. As a mother of eight children ranging from seven to twenty-two years old, Eileen brings both lived experience and hard-won wisdom to the conversation about intentional parenting. Her current work on a Proverbs 31 devotional series demonstrates her commitment to helping women understand their identity as daughters of God, wives, contending matriarchs, and impact makers. But perhaps most importantly, she models what it looks like to prioritize family relationships even when professional opportunities beckon.

Recognizing When God Calls You Back to Basics  

The end of the school year often brings a perfect storm of activities, projects, and transitions that can leave even the most organized mother feeling scattered. Eileen describes reaching a breaking point where she felt crushed by the weight of trying to maintain her writing schedule, podcast production, and business development while managing the natural chaos that comes with eight children finishing their academic year. Rather than pushing through or compartmentalizing her stress, she chose to pause and seek God's guidance about her priorities.

This moment of overwhelm became a divine redirection. As Eileen struggled to focus on her work projects, she sensed God asking her to shift her attention back to her children during the summer season. The message was clear: the work would still be there, but these moments with her kids were irreplaceable. This realization challenged her to examine whether her pursuit of professional goals was interfering with her primary calling as a mother during this particular season.

The beauty of Eileen's approach lies in her willingness to view this redirection not as failure or limitation, but as divine guidance toward what matters most. She recognizes that different seasons of life require different priorities, and that being responsive to God's leading sometimes means setting aside good opportunities to focus on the best ones. This perspective helps other mothers understand that choosing family over productivity isn't settling for less—it's choosing to invest in eternal significance.

Building Spiritual Foundation Through Prayer and Declaration  

Prayer becomes the cornerstone of Eileen's approach to intentional parenting, but not in the ways many might expect. She emphasizes praying both with children and over them, creating an atmosphere where seeking God's guidance becomes the family's first response to challenges. This practice teaches children that prayer isn't just a religious ritual but a practical tool for navigating life's difficulties and decisions.

The concept of declaring God's word over children goes beyond simple bedtime prayers. Eileen shares how she actively speaks biblical truths over her kids, even when their current behavior doesn't reflect those declarations. This practice requires parents to see their children through God's eyes rather than just their current circumstances. When a child is struggling with attitude or making poor choices, speaking truth about their identity and potential becomes an act of faith that can actually influence their development.

Equally important is teaching children to pray for the relationships and influences in their lives. Eileen describes praying specifically for her children's teachers, coaches, friends, and even future spouses. This approach acknowledges that parents aren't the only voices shaping their children's lives and actively invites God to bring positive influences into their world. By modeling this type of prayer, parents teach their children to look for God's hand in all their relationships and to expect Him to provide the guidance and support they need.

Creating an Environment of Grace and Truth  

One of the most challenging aspects of parenting involves balancing accountability with unconditional love. Eileen describes learning to approach her children's mistakes with curiosity rather than immediate punishment, asking questions that help her understand the root issues rather than just addressing surface behaviors. This approach requires significant self-control, especially when discovering that a child has lied or made poor choices that could have serious consequences.

The goal isn't to eliminate consequences or excuse poor behavior, but to create an environment where children feel safe enough to be honest about their struggles and mistakes. Eileen shares how being transparent about her own past mistakes helps her children understand that she genuinely relates to their temptations and challenges. This vulnerability breaks down the barrier that can exist between children who see their parents as having always been perfect and parents who forget what it was like to navigate moral and ethical decisions as young people.

Speaking life over children rather than constantly highlighting their failures becomes a deliberate choice that requires intentionality. When children hear more about their potential than their problems, they begin to internalize a different narrative about themselves. Eileen emphasizes the spiritual authority that parents have to break negative patterns and declarations over their children, whether those harmful words came outside the family or even their own mouths during moments of frustration.

Nurturing Individual Gifts While Setting Healthy Boundaries  

Understanding that each child has unique gifts and inclinations requires parents to move beyond cookie-cutter approaches to child-rearing. Eileen describes observing her daughter's creativity and learning to nurture it rather than seeing it as messiness or inconvenience. This same principle applies to children who gravitate toward sports, academics, arts, or other areas of interest. The challenge lies in supporting each child's individual bent while maintaining family standards and expectations.

The practice of spending one-on-one time with each child becomes essential, though it looks different depending on the child's age and interests. These individual connections allow parents to understand each child's unique personality, fears, dreams, and needs. Eileen shares how she's willing to take children out of school for special experiences together, recognizing that these memory-making moments often have more lasting value than perfect attendance records.

However, nurturing individual gifts must be balanced with the ability to say no and set appropriate boundaries. Eileen acknowledges how difficult this can be, especially when children have experienced trauma or significant life changes that make parents want to compensate by being overly permissive. Learning to say no becomes an act of love that teaches children patience, delayed gratification, and the reality that they can't always get what they want when they want it.

Essential Strategies for Intentional Summer Parenting:  

1. Establish Prayer as Your Foundation - Pray with your children regularly and teach them to bring their concerns to God first

2. Declare Truth Over Current Reality - Speak God's word over your children even when you don't see evidence of it yet

3. Create Safe Spaces for Honesty - Respond to mistakes with curiosity rather than immediate anger

4. Invest in One-on-One Time - Understand each child's unique needs and interests through individual attention

5. Model Accountability - Be willing to apologize when you handle situations poorly

6. Speak Life, Not Death - Focus on potential and identity rather than constantly highlighting problems

7. Set Loving Boundaries - Say no when necessary to build character and teach delayed gratification

8. Break Negative Patterns - Use your spiritual authority to counteract harmful words or generational issues

9. Pray for Their Relationships - Actively seek God's guidance for the influences in your children's lives

10. Nurture Their Unique Gifts - Support each child's individual interests and abilities

Stepping Into Your Season With Confidence  

The summer shift that Eileen describes isn't just about changing schedules or managing childcare logistics. It represents a fundamental choice about where to invest our time, energy, and attention during specific seasons of life. For mothers who are building businesses, pursuing education, or developing ministries, the temptation to maintain full productivity year-round can be strong. Yet Eileen's example shows us that sometimes the most strategic business decision is stepping back and focusing on the relationships that matter most.

This approach requires faith that God will honor our obedience to His priorities. When we choose to invest in our children's spiritual, emotional, and relational development, we're making deposits that will pay dividends for generations. The work projects will still be there in the fall, but the opportunity to shape young hearts and minds during their formative years is fleeting and irreplaceable.

Your children need to see that you value them more than your achievements, but they also need to witness what it looks like for a woman to pursue her God-given calling with excellence and integrity. The goal isn't to choose between family and purpose, but to navigate both with wisdom, seeking God's guidance about when to lean into each area of responsibility. This summer, consider how God might be calling you to shift your focus, knowing that seasons of intensive parenting are investments in eternal significance that will ultimately enhance rather than hinder your ability to impact the world around you.

Ready to discover more about living an Sidelined No More life? Visit ladybellator.com to explore Eileen's books and resources for women ready to step into their God-given purpose while honoring their calling as mothers and wives.

For more inspiring conversations about moving from the sidelines to center field in your life story, tune in to "The Unsidelined Life" podcast with Eileen Noyes. Each episode features real stories from women who have navigated the complex journey of balancing family, faith, and finding their own purpose. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and join a community of women who are ready to live the full life God created for them.