Real Stories of Breaking Life Commandments and Speaking Truth to Children

Theory becomes transformation only when you see it applied in real life. Last week's principles about the subconscious mind, life commandments, and nurturing children in their bent might have made sense intellectually, but how do they actually work in everyday parenting situations?

Meet Eileen Noyes, host of The Unsidelined Life podcast and mother of eight who has lived these principles through some of the most challenging circumstances imaginable - divorce, near-cult involvement, single parenting, and blending families. In this episode, she pulls back the curtain on specific moments when she had to apply what she learned from Life Skills International to protect her children's hearts and minds.

These aren't sanitized success stories - they're real examples of parenting mistakes that needed correction, deliberate lies that had to be counteracted, and intentional truth-speaking that produced visible results. From apologizing to a two-year-old for words spoken when he was a baby to breaking off false responsibilities placed on a teenage son, these stories show exactly what it looks like to parent with awareness of how children's subconscious minds process life events.

Understanding the principles matters, but seeing them in action gives parents the confidence to apply them in their own unique family situations.

Speaking Truth to the Subconscious Mind Before Birth  

One of the most striking examples Eileen shares involves being pregnant with her eighth child during the most chaotic period of her life. She didn't even know she was pregnant until four months along, and by that time, she and her other seven children had already escaped from the abusive situation with their father.

The external circumstances were anything but peaceful - they had needed an escape plan, were living in transition, and were processing massive trauma. However, Eileen's internal state was completely different. God had surrounded her with godly support, filled her with His peace, and helped her choose joy, forgiveness, and prayer even for those who had hurt her family.

She explains how the subconscious mind is fully developed at six months in the womb, meaning her son experienced the final trimester in an environment of spiritual peace, stability, and godly community despite the chaos happening externally. When he was born, his personality reflected that peaceful environment - joyful, stable, and secure in ways that seemed impossible given the circumstances.

This example demonstrates that children absorb far more than we realize, even before birth. A mother's spiritual and emotional state creates the first environment a child experiences, and speaking truth, worship, and declaring God's promises over your unborn child plants seeds in their subconscious mind before they take their first breath.

Correcting Words Spoken in Frustration  

Not every parenting example is a success story - sometimes the principles teach us how to repair damage we've unknowingly caused. Eileen shares a vulnerable story about her third son when he was a baby with two older siblings demanding attention.

In moments of frustration when he would cry and reach for her while she was busy with the older children, she would say things like "you've got to fend for yourself" or "I have your two older brothers to take care of." She didn't think a baby could understand these words, but his subconscious mind was absorbing the message that he wasn't cared for and had to protect himself.

The evidence showed up in his attachment to a security blanket and thumb-sucking - both protective behaviors that develop when children don't feel safe. When Eileen learned about the power of speaking to the subconscious mind through Life Skills International, she went back to her son at age two, sat him on her lap, and spoke directly to what she had unknowingly planted.

She apologized for telling him he had to fend for himself, told him he was loved and protected, and assured him that his parents would take care of him. Even though he was only two and couldn't articulate much verbally, she witnessed an immediate shift in his demeanor - something lifted, and he seemed to understand at a deep level that he was safe and cared for.

Key Lessons from This Story:

• Your words impact children long before they can verbally process them

• The subconscious mind records messages even when the conscious mind can't understand

• It's never too late to go back and speak truth to counteract lies

• You can witness visible changes when truth reaches the subconscious level

• Apologizing to young children and correcting your words matters

The Weight Children Shouldn't Carry

One of the most heartbreaking stories Eileen shares involves how her former spouse's understanding of childhood development took a painful turn. Knowing that children often carry the weight of family losses, he told several of their sons that the divorce was their fault.

One son was told the marriage ended because of his long hair, which his father disapproved of. Another was told it was his fault because he was messy and his parents argued about it. Those words echoed what many children already fear—that somehow, they are to blame when love unravels.

Eileen didn't know these conversations had happened until her sons were older and shared what had been said to them. Once she knew, she was able to go back and speak truth: "That is not true. It is not your fault." Understanding that she was speaking to their subconscious minds helped her stay calm and focused on truth rather than getting emotional or defensive.

This example shows how critical it is for parents to understand these principles, because those with harmful intent can use the same knowledge to wound children. When you know how children process loss and trauma, you can actively counteract lies with truth before they take permanent root.

Releasing Children from False Responsibilities  

When Eileen's oldest son was 15-16 years old during the divorce, he naturally assumed he needed to become "the man of the house." Whether this was explicitly stated or just an internal conclusion he reached, he took on stresses that didn't belong to him - feeling responsible for his siblings' wellbeing, his mother's emotional state, and the overall functioning of the family.

This false responsibility was creating a life commandment: "I'm the man of the house and have to take care of everything." Eileen recognized this burden and knew she needed to release him from it before it shaped his entire identity and created friction in future family dynamics (especially when a new husband eventually entered the picture).

She spoke directly to the life commandment: "I release you from that. That's not your role. Your role is not to be the parent or the one who takes care of things. This burden is not yours to carry." She acknowledged his desire to help while making it clear he could be a brother without being a parent.

This conversation had to happen multiple times and continues to be reinforced, but speaking truth to break off false responsibilities prevents children from carrying burdens into adulthood that were never theirs to bear.

Nurturing Unique Giftings Against Cultural Pressure  

One of the most practical applications of these principles involves recognizing and celebrating each child's unique bent rather than pushing them toward culturally valued paths. Eileen shares examples of three of her children whose giftings are distinctly different:

Her organized son was the catalyst for her entire house transformation when he wanted to host a party and cleaned the house to a level of cleanliness it had never reached before. Rather than criticizing him as "too anal" or "too particular," she recognizes organization as a valuable gifting to nurture.

Her 13-year-old son has built most of the furniture in their home from flat-pack instructions - bed frames, cabinets, chairs - and does so naturally without frustration. Eileen sees this as a craftsman gift like the biblical artisans and actively tells him not to underestimate this ability, especially in a culture that pushes everyone toward college rather than trades.

Her creative daughter sees possibility in every box, foam piece, and toilet paper roll - envisioning dollhouse furniture where others see trash. Rather than forcing cleanliness that would squash this creativity, Eileen creates boundaries that allow the gifting to flourish.

Practical Steps for Nurturing Children's Bent:

• Observe what comes naturally to each child without frustration

• Speak life over their unique abilities rather than comparing to siblings

• Resist cultural pressure to push all children toward the same path

• Challenge the assumption that college is the only valid next step

• Help children see their giftings as God-designed rather than random talents

Transform Your Parenting Through Real Application  

These stories demonstrate that understanding principles about the subconscious mind, life commandments, and nurturing bent isn't just theoretical knowledge - it's practical wisdom that changes how you respond to everyday parenting situations.

Start by asking yourself where you might need to go back and correct messages you've unknowingly planted. Have you told a child they're responsible for things that aren't their fault? Have you spoken words in frustration that created false beliefs about their worth or safety? It's never too late to sit them down and speak truth.

Pay attention to false responsibilities your children might be carrying. Are they taking on burdens that don't belong to them? Speak directly to release them from those weights before they become permanent life commandments.

Most importantly, observe each child's unique bent and actively nurture it, even when it doesn't match your own interests or cultural expectations. Your children weren't designed to replicate your life - they were designed for unique kingdom purposes that may look completely different from anything you imagined.

Ready to see more real examples of these principles in action? Follow The Unsidelined Life podcast for practical parenting wisdom that addresses what's happening beneath the surface of your children's behaviors.

 

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