The Proverbs 31 Woman Is a Warrior

Discover why the Proverbs 31 woman is not the quiet, subdued ideal you may have been taught. She is a warrior, and so are you.

You are sitting in church when the pastor mentions Proverbs 31. Your stomach knots. Here it comes again. The perfect woman who does everything right. Makes her own clothes. Wakes up before dawn. Manages a flawless household. NEVER COMPLAINS. NEVER STRUGGLES. NEVER FAILS.

You think about your own life. The laundry pile. The frozen dinner you heated up last night because you were too exhausted to cook. The fact that you cannot even sew a button back on your child’s shirt without making it worse.

The comparison game starts before you can stop it.
I will never be her.
I am failing as a wife.
I am failing as a mom.

Maybe that is why you have avoided this chapter altogether. Eileen Noyes did.

For years, as host of The Unsidelined Life podcast and mother of eight in a blended family, Eileen looked at Proverbs 31 as a newlywed and thought, I suck at this. I will never measure up. So she closed her Bible and avoided that chapter for a long time.

But at 52, God opened her eyes to something that changed everything.

We have been reading it all wrong.  

 The Supposed To's That Stole Your Identity   

Where did your picture of the ideal woman actually come from?

For Eileen, it shifted dramatically depending on which world she occupied. In NFL wife circles, the ideal woman carried designer bags and projected perfection at all times. Fame, fortune, and flawless appearance. Never messy. Never struggling. Always the trophy on display.

Then she entered a religious environment that taught something completely different. The ideal woman wore a head covering and never touched makeup because makeup meant Jezebel. She only cooked, cleaned, and had babies. She had no voice and no identity outside serving her husband in absolute obedience.

The secular world paints yet another picture. Be like the Kardashians. Climb the corporate ladder. Become the ultimate businesswoman.

The standard keeps shifting with whoever is speaking the loudest.

There are so many supposed to’s.
She is supposed to look like this.
Act like that.
Believe these things.
Do everything perfectly.

When you cannot match the standard, you conclude you are failing.

Eileen stayed away from Proverbs 31 for years because she believed it was just another list of supposed to’s. When she finally looked at it again, she realized something profound.

Those supposed to’s were stealing her identity.

Your beliefs about who you are supposed to be did not form in a vacuum. They came from somewhere specific. Cultural expectations have hammered into you since childhood. Family patterns are absorbed without realizing it. Life trauma that taught you this is just how it has to be.

It is time to challenge where those beliefs came from and ask whether they are even true.

 What the Bible Actually Says About Her   

For generations, Christians have pictured the Proverbs 31 woman as gentle, quiet, modest, and well-behaved; soft, subdued, and polite.

Are those qualities bad? Not at all.

But they are not the full picture.

The Old Testament Hebrew word for “woman of virtue” is chayil.  Chayil does not mean nice, soft, or polite.

 CHAYIL means:

• Strength

• Power

• Valor

• Warrior

• Part of an army

The woman of virtue is not a gentle doormat who tiptoes and never makes waves. She is a force.

Eileen calls her Lady Bellator. A woman with a scepter in front, representing authority and royalty as a co-heir with Christ, and a sword in back, representing a warrior ready for battle.

This changes everything about how you read Proverbs 31.

This woman is not just managing her household. She is strategic. She is strong. She is taking territory. She is part of God’s army, fighting for her family, her calling, and her purpose.

Yes, scripture speaks about modesty, not being consumed with outward appearance, and having a gentle and quiet spirit that is precious in God’s sight. It calls women to love their husbands and children well.

However, gentle and quiet does not mean weak. It does not mean silent, powerless, or small. It means controlled power. Anchored strength. A warrior who knows when to fight and when to be still.

When you read Scripture without cultural filters, you discover a truth that should wake you up.

You are not too much.
You are not too loud.
You are not too strong.

You are exactly what God created you to be.

 She Doesn't Look the Same for Everyone   

Eileen had to learn this the hard way. Proverbs 31 is about principles, not a checklist.

The woman described in that passage made linens and clothing. She bought land and planted vineyards. Eileen does not know how to sew. She is never going to run a vineyard. And that is okay.

God is not asking you to be a first-century entrepreneur. He is asking you to steward what He has given you. Your gifts. Your family. Your calling. Your season.

For one woman, that may look like homemaking and homeschooling. For another, building a business while raising children. For another, pouring into ministry or leadership.

The principles remain the same:

• Strength and dignity

• Wisdom and kindness

• Diligence and faithfulness

• Fighting for your family

• Living with purpose

How those principles show up in your life is between you and God.

 What This Means for Your Family   

One of the most powerful ways the Proverbs 31 woman shows up is through her influence on her family.

For sons, pray Scripture over them. Speak life into them even when they are young. Teach discernment. Pray for their future wives.

For daughters, model confidence and wisdom. Teach purity and identity from God’s Word, not culture.

For husbands, give them to the Lord. Pray for their hearts, their eyes, their faithfulness, and their love.

You are shaping the next generation. You are leading, even when it does not feel like it.

 Where Has the Enemy Tried to Silence You?   

Here is the question that changed Eileen’s life: Where has the enemy tried to silence your voice? For her, it was women. Women who did not know their worth. Women are suffering silently. Women being reduced to titles instead of purpose. If you want to know where God is calling you, look at where you have been opposed. Look at where you were told to stay quiet. That is often where your calling lives.

 You're Not Too Much: You're a Warrior   

You are not failing. You are not less than. You are a woman of virtue. Which means strength. Power. Valor. You are Lady Bellator. Scepter in front. Sword in back. The Proverbs 31 woman is not a wallflower. And neither are you.

 Ready to Step Into Your Identity?   

If this message hits a chord and you feel that you are ready to stop feeling stuck and start healing spiritually, emotionally, and physically, Eileen would love to help.

She is accepting new clients for her 90-day coaching program, Healed Mom, Restored Home. This is a complete transformation experience designed to help you step into who God created you to be.

Schedule your free 40-minute strategy session by emailing 📧 hello@ladybellator.com 🎧 Listen to the full Season 2 compilation episode of The Unsidelined Life Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or visit the Website. Follow Eileen Noyes and connect with Lady Bellator through her platforms and community.

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